Hello

i should really update this more.

anyways, i did my GCSE drama exam yesterday, i was so nervous, i was actually shitting bricks. but we all got full marks :D

A*

so im very very happy.

i just got my hair cut.

studying for GCSE's

summers in the post.

so my life is actually....really good right now :)

all i need is a busier social life and my life will be fucking perfect. :)

27th Dec 2009

So its the day after boxing day

I feel so bad when i don't update this

idk if anybody actually reads this tho

i dont know how to see my 'followers' or anything

but ah well

so for xmas i got a camera!

its amazing

its the FugiFilm S1500

I LUFF EET

and i also got a tv which was a BIGG suprise

so i just updated my lookbook, i kinda like the actuall composure of the photo more then the clothes, but i dont think very many people on lookbook will like it, i dot think its their type of thing, but anyways! i like it! and thats what matters ^__^

well. hope anyone who reads this had a very merry xmas and has a happy new year!

Sooooo
my weeks been good, me jess & joel have sorted everything out. although the whole things still kinda knocked me.

so im quite happy today, i've lounged about watching various repeats of 'miami ink' and its always good to get a bit of 'fashion tv' or 'world fashion' in before lunch ;D
im quite glad that none of my friends read this blog, as i kinda sent some pictures away to 'Select Model Managment' to see about what it would take to be a model. personally, i don't think im tall enough, male models need to be like...5ft 11+ think, and im only 5ft 10
but i might aswell see what they think. im betting their gonna say i need my moles removed, which is alright because i want them gone anyway. i've been thinking about sending my pics away for a while now...but i was kinda waiting until i got my moles removed as i think it would let me give a better impression...or something.
im not sure.

well anyway, best wait and see what they say, and i've been wondering how to find out if anyones following me? xD

well...im off, i taped that 'race and intelligence' program which was on last night
its basically about genetic intelligence and seeing if by using the averages between different races can prove this. alot of shite tbh, intelligence isnt inbuilt, its not a bladder!
well
bye

my hairs sitting nicley

okay, so im sick, my throat is aching, my stomach feels like i've been punched 100 times, my head is sore and so are my feet.
but my hair's sitting nicley, so thats cheered up my day.
and i have it wrote down how to do it because i usually forget (im such a geek)

so thats slightly took away from the seering pain i feel when i try to stand.

i love scrubs.

7th 09 09

so today's been shit. absolutely shit.

so i got to the shop, waited outside as usual, met Rachel and we walked up which was very calming.
so then i got to registration, i was standing outside it and Jess walks up and goes 'the reason I've been acting strange around you is because you've changed, and even Joel's noticed it'
so i was like
'what...hold up What?!'
and she went 'its been ever since you went to una rodden.' & then she just walked off into registration.
WTF
i LOVE Jessica and all, but seriously? what the actual fuck?
so i talked to Claire at the end of the day, ( right, i told her she had wonky eyebrows (as a joke thing) and she said she didn't really like it so i said i wouldn't say anything like that again)

so me and Claire are fine, but Jessica and Joel must be annoyed at me, Rachel said she'd heard Jess and Joel talking about me and she just didn't pay any attention. Claire said I'd been a bit more 'cocky' but if that's what the problem is then I'm not really going to change.
SHURE!
everyone except me started falling out with Joel because he was being too 'cocky'. and everyone was falling out with him, but i said to him 'yes you have changed, but people naturally change, you can't expect people to be the same forever'

so this whole thing has annoyed me. if they think I'm being cocky I'm glad I'm cocky because finally after 5 years of working towards it i have a bit of self-fucking-confidence without dickheads constantly on my back!

i absolutely love Jessica and Joel and Claire and all my friends, if i didn't i wouldn't be hanging around with them. but ever since Una rodden i have felt more confident about myself than anything. and if since then I've been able to think about my appearance or my hair or not give a shit what people say about me in the corridor, then i am not going to change how i feel.

UGHHHHH
i put up with shit from fucking everyone in this dickhead school and i don't need another fucking whitney moment!
i have other shit in my life to deal with then people telling me i have to be constantly on guard and stay the exact same throughout my whole life.

UGHHHHHHHH
i want to fucking screamm!

this has fucking upset me. it's not like theres not stuff going on in my life outside school i have to deal with? i just don't go and tell everyone my business. if i wanted people to know whats going on in my life i would but i don't, because it's my business, and if do you not think people should consider that there is other stuff then fucking school and how i act in it and how my fucking life is outside it! ive got fucking problems up to the fucking neck and this whole 'youve changed' thing has put a fucking downer on my day and probably my month.

i love my friends, but why in the fuck would they say that? i am constantly asking jessica if shes ok, because shes told me her problems, and because i want to know how she feels, i try to ask joel but nowadays every time i try to talk to him he leaves to go somewhere else.

this has been one big fucking ugly rant but i needed to rant because people need to stop caring about how i act around them and HOW IM DOING IN MY FUCKING LIFE!!?!?!?
asking me if im okay.
or asking me whats going on, what ive been doing, how s my week going, whats up with my family.
but no.
they don't.

AND IM FUCKING READY TO BURST.

this has knocked my self confidenece down sooo much i cannot describe.
but i am going to feel good about myself. because i havent in a fucking long time!